Urgh
Stress? You don’t know the meaning of the word. Right now, I sit in the common room at uni. I’m hiding from the world. I can’t be fucked working and working in the lab and getting no results. I can’t be fucked replying to the emails I’m getting about stuff I haven’t completed. I am so overloaded. People are so fucking demanding, and I can’t take it.
Earlier I was hit with the realization that Valetine’s day is next month. This made me feel worse. Much worse. I feel so alone and unloved. No one is blood interested in listening to what is boring ME. EVERYONE has something SOMEHOW worse to talk about, and I have to take it all ong and be the “strong” one while I’m really dying inside more and more each day. I can’t take it anymore. Everything in my life is stressful, and if I wasn’t in public, I’d be breaking down right now. I can’t even do that. I can’t scream and cry. I don’t have the time. I can’t vent. No one will give me their time.
You know you’re in trouble when you have constant thoughts of throwing yourself fown stairs and off bridges when you feel like crap. Being near death wouldbevery good for me now. No more stress, people would listen, and if not…well, I’d have something to take my mind off it.
Hugs would be nice. Many hugs.